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04:23pm 16/11/2006

All is OK in the land of Helen I guess. Very stressed with party planning, guests, transport etc - I really just want it to happen now. Then I'll stop stressing and I'll get to see all my beautiful friends again =) Really can't wait to see everyone - its the main reason I'm having this bloody party !

Argh, the keys on this keyboard are so annoying. Library's are silly.

Erm, so yes. Not been up to much. Home every weekend for god knows how long for 21st's, nights out, family birthdays, etc. Going out quite a bit round Manchester and I keep pulling losers. Which I really need to stp doing. And to do that I would have to stop drinking because that is the only reason it happens in the first place =( If anybody knows of any nice, non-bastard men please send them to me for my birthday =)

Handed my first essay in last Friday. It was bloody shit. I really need to get motivated. But I really doubt that's going to happen anytime soon.

Reeto, think I'll be off to get a bus...when I've got my bastard hotmail account to open !

See some of you at my partay =) Please don't laugh at how silly I'll probably look ! And either how stressed out or drunk I am...haha. x x

(2 more lies | tell me you love me)

12:33am 17/12/2005
mood: cold
I'm hoooooooooooome.

Thank fuck for that.

My dada bought me a very nice dress today for christmas. Unfortunately I have decided the very nice dress does not suit my horrendous (sp?) excuse for a figure.



And it's fucking cold.

(4 more lies | tell me you love me)

04:58pm 15/10/2005
  I'm in Manchester living in the ghetto. So much of a ghetto that a girl got raped behind our house last week. Nice.

The house is coming together though. The landlord nearly killed us off by fitting a new kitchen. Its a fit kitchen now.

Should be getting the net some time next week. Huzzah.

I miss my family lots but I've been spending lots and lots (maybe too much, ha) time with Luke. Its ace.

Will update sproperly soon.


(1 more lie | tell me you love me)

01:23am 07/09/2005
  Fook me. I need to sleep badly.

Going to Portugal in like, very soon. I should probably pack =|

So yeah...see you in a week.


(2 more lies | tell me you love me)

08:26pm 04/07/2005
  title or description

banner thanx to ohpaintbrush

(5 more lies | tell me you love me)

Cos Kris made me do it:   
01:59pm 06/06/2005
mood: bored
List your current six favorite songs of the moment, then pick six other people that have to do the same

Jeff Buckley - Halleluiah (I so cant spell that)
Kaiser Chiefs - Oh My God
Kaiser Chiefs - Everyday I love you less and less
FFAF - Streetcar
Futureheads - Hounds of Love
Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone (haha)

I hereby give Livejournal AIDS (copyright Bec) to:


(1 more lie | tell me you love me)

01:33pm 27/05/2005
mood: tired
So, I've just paid £100 for a new phone. Well £118 with INSURANCE.

Which is ok really considering the phone was like £150 everywhere else, and aswell as insurance I have £20 credit.

So I have some random number until Tuesday (hopefully) when I'll get my sim card through and my old number. So I'll get texts and shit then hopefully ! Dont delete my number !

And keep the numbers coming please. I'm copying them everywhere so I dont have to go through all this again. Hopefully I wont anyway, scummy bastards.

Nearly sorted clearing out my room...and I really have cleared it this time. Still full of crap in places but I cant do it all ;) Took 2 huge bags to Oxfam earlier. I swear, I've been spending way too much on charities lately. Ohwell.

Now I'm going for a nice bath, then off to work for 6 and a half shitty hours waitressing (which I have never ever done before...eurgh).

Wish me luck ! Or rather the people I'm serving the food to x

(1 more lie | tell me you love me)

02:05pm 26/05/2005
mood: infuriated



(3 more lies | tell me you love me)

02:11pm 17/05/2005
mood: sick
Well, yesterday I went shopping, then later met Danielle, Lianne and Suzi in the Tudor (plus other peoples). And husband came too when he 'walked' from Orrell =p

Then we decided to go on to Wetherspoons, then Chicago Rock and then Baa Baa.

It was fun.

But now I feel sick.

The end.

(tell me you love me)

11:07pm 14/05/2005
mood: weird
Exams are done, I'm very happy.

Being home always makes me think of better times and where the fuck I'm headed now.

Lately I get agitated way too easily, by everything it would seem.

I also cry way too easily.

My nephew has taken a liking to peeing in the middle of supermarkets.

And more or less everywhere else aswell.

I'm going to try spend this time off uni to change myself. Physically, emotionally, mentally.

I'm sick of being a mess.

Memories. Memories. Memories.

(3 more lies | tell me you love me)

09:18pm 04/05/2005
mood: worried

I'm fucking bored. As you will already know because I only update this when I'm bored.

I cant remember what I've been doing lately. Not revising. Which is what I'm supposed to have been doing.

I went to see Hot Hot Heat last Thursday which was fun, and we stood next to some guy from Corrie.

Friday I went home for Danielles birthday outing, as Mr Kristov and other people said they were home too. And Anna wanted to go out too. I was trauamtized by sitting on a train full of Manchester chavs all the way to Wigan, called in the Tudor and on to Shitzimes. It was rather shit at first, but Danielle got drunk, I got drunk, Anna appeared, she bought me lots of drinks and I got even more drunk. It was lots of fun. I danced lots with Anna and her lovely boy who is just lovely and Danielle. And I got to see my husbando.
I dont really remember bits until near the end when I spoke to Stu for the first time in god knows how long, talked about some things and made friends again. Which is good.
I eventually stumbled home, got in and puked up purple sick all over the toilet, then collapsed in bed. Reet fun it was.

Saturday I woke up feeling rather sick, and with a funny head. Farter dragged me to CostCo which I definately wasnt in the mood for as I felt I was going to puke, and I had mongy children gawping at me all the way round. I tried my best to give them my special Helen evil eye but it doesnt seem to work anymore.
Then I went to Joannes and got harrassed by Joey ALLLLLLLLL day. This included him running between my legs every five minutes, having to play ball outside, having to play house outside, having to play cars outside, switching videos between Joey Xmas videos and numerous Wallace and Gromit videos, bouncing on the bed, hiding in Joeys new bed (yes, lil Joey now has a semi grown up bed =), taking Joey to the toilet and having to wipe his ass while trying not to look at his ass and having Joey jump all over me, in pants and with no pants. I only managed to escape when I went for a drink at the pub =|

Sunday I went to my aunties, who started the whole 'you've lost weight' thing again (I think her and Cath have some plan to keep telling me that in the hope that I'll stop moaning about my weight) and I also saw my other auntie who asked who I am =|
Because I apparently look oh so different. Or not.
My cousin and his gf have now had their lil baby, meaning that I am soon to be a godmother =D Poor child. I havent seen her yet, but I hopefully will very soon.

Monday I got up at a ridiculous hour (that would be 5am) in order to get ready for London and get on the spazzy coach. Which we did for like 4 and a half hours. It was actually I quite amusing bus ride.
Arrived in London, had beer, went to the hostel, drank more beer, set off for Alexandra Palace. Got there and took us like half an hour to find th right way in. Had already missed like 2 bands. Were extremely pissed off at the fact that ques were like 3 hours long for drinks and shit. So not in a very good mood. This went on till like 8ish when we eventually got a drink and Co&Ca came on. But I was quite disappointed with them too =| With the exception of a few very good songs. Finch were ok, but no better than usual though the singer looked very sexy, and FFAF were fucking ace but we had to leave half way through their set =(
Saw Jimmie, Damo, Chris, Janine there and also got to meet Graham and his lady friend.

Tuesday we got up early and set off on a mini adventure around London - Camden where I tried on a very cool vintage dress, then decided I would probably never wear it, Leicester Square, Piccadily, Oxford Street, Covent Garden etc. Lots of shopping and walking and tubes and stuff. Then I went moody beacuse I was proper tired and just wanted to get home. Except then the bus was an hour late and then when it did turn up, it was actually a proper double decker Megabus instead of a coach ....like wtf ?! Good job my weak bladder decided to be good on the way home, or it would have been rather disasterous. Got home around 10pm and had a much needed shower then passed out in bed.

Today I was planning on going to the library and revising. But I didnt. Ooops. Considering I'm shitting myself over these exams and not actually knowing whats on them I'm not very motivated to do anything. I just seriously cant be arsed. I'm going to drop out and be a housewife. Seriously.
Theres always resits I suppose =|

I just realised that this is proper long so I'm going to go put my PJs on, eat ice cream and watch Desperate Housewives. Then I will hopefully wake up and revise =S

(tell me you love me)

01:03pm 17/04/2005
mood: sick
I feel SICK.

Alcohol is EVIL!

(tell me you love me)

04:32pm 13/04/2005
mood: sad
Back from holiday...had an ace time, I wish I hadnt come back. Got stalked by lots of freaky men and actually got a tan - yes me with a tan ! =o
Well, its a tan for me anyway, ha.
Met a nice bloke called Luis who worked at the hotel. I went out with him one night, and he offered for me to stay at his apartment over the summer and to try and find a job for me...which would be great but I dont know whether it will happen or not. Have to wait and see if he gets in touch or not.

Sat by the pool most of the time, went to a shopping centre Wednesday, on a boat on the Thursday and saw baby dolphins =D and to a little town called Mogan on the Friday which was really nice.

Played mini golf (ha) and pool...got wasted on cocktails one night in a little bar and me and Cath got dragged on the karaoke which was funny as fuck and just goes to show how wasted we really were.

Really didnt want to come home, and I've been in a shit mood since. I just feel like I dont want to be here at all and dont know what I want...but I'm sure most people feel like that so ohwell.

Came back to Manchester yesterday and me, Jem and Chris drank in my room then went on to Satans. I was rather drunk and suddenly went really tired and was half falling asleep on everyone. Jemma thought I was pissed off with her and ended up disappearing, but came round again later on when I told her why I'd been in a wierd mood. Its mums birthday today and I thought going out would take my mind off it but it didnt :S So we ended up talking for ages outside, me crying and then some wierd black guy came and kidnapped Jem...ha.

Today I've done feck all...still in my pajamas. I feel like I want to do something but know I'll just end up going in a wierd mood again and I dont want to be around people when I get like that. I piss myself off. So I may just venture to Asda soon and buy some food and stuff. I should have really just stayed at home with my Dad but I really wanted to go out last night...hmmm.

Bit gutted over the Ant thing aswell...he doesnt actually speak to me anymore so I cant be arsed with it. Meh. Talked to Emma about it a bit last night when I was pissed but things hes said to her have obviously changed since I've been away :|

Going out for Papa J's birthday to Rock Kitchen on Saturday...I may go shopping tomorrow in an attempt to cheer myself up. Even though I owe Daley £200 for a freakin Leeds ticket and my Dad £100 for holiday...plus the bank have charged me stupid amounts for a cheque bouncing...grrr. I'm going to try find a job to keep me busy and get me some money for if I actually go working away, or for another holiday or whatever.

Hmm, I'm waffling again now so I shall be going. I'll hopefully get to come see some people at uni soon =)

Oh, and Karen has definately left uni. Cant say I have much to say on that really...ha.

(tell me you love me)

05:05pm 28/03/2005
mood: gloomy
Boys can go kiss my:





Fuck you all.

(With the exception of Papa J, Marc, Chris and mon husband whoever else arent cunts =)

Now I'm going to go get pissed with my Anna Panna and fuck of twatty men.

The end.

(5 more lies | tell me you love me)

06:05pm 23/03/2005
  You can tell when I'm pissed off and have nothing to do, its the only time I ever update this stupid thing.
Bring on the days where I have a life again.

Going to the Tudor tonight with Miss Blee and Jen (I think) so we can have girly chats and girly bitches and hopefully get very drunk. I need it after the disasterous night last night =(


(1 more lie | tell me you love me)

07:13pm 21/03/2005
mood: crappy
Today I have learnt that lack of interaction with people makes me into a moody bitch. Funny that, I thought it was people that usually make me moody.
Ohwell. Now I know why my dad doesnt want me here by myself. Seems he does know what I'm like after all.

Or the fact that looking through old photographs just depresses me. Ha. Or listening to the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack depresses me. I'm in a wierddddddddd mood today.

Ahhhhh fuck off bad mood....

No Hear You Me or Just Watch The Fireworks though. But that would be a good thing cos I probably would have cried.

I'm gonna go listen to 80's cheese again. That'll hyper me up so hopefully I can stop being a moody bint =D

On my own...ha.

(2 more lies | tell me you love me)

05:59pm 20/03/2005
mood: confused
So I went to Satans on Friday with John and his friend. Didnt know many people in there so only stayed till half one-ish. They actually played cool music though - Distillers, Blondie, Tsunami Bomb etc =D
There was a tranny in there aswell, totally funny as fuck. I felt mean but I couldnt stop laughing. You had to have seen it I guess. The dancing was nearly as hysterical as the person !

Yesterday had a pretty quiet day, woke up early then went back to sleep again. Went out to the shop and got fucking whistled and dirty shit shouted at me from a bunch of old pervs in a taxi (that actually happened on Friday aswell...do they all come out with the semi decent weather or what ?? Twats)
Danced around my room listening to Madonna and The Smiths and the Pretty In Pink soundtrack and Tragic Kingdom =) Fun fun. Then when John and James were actually ready (this being like quarter to 12!haha) we went off to Rock Kitchen. Totally sober, but started drinking snakebite and black and shots and stuff so got a lil drunk, not much though considering the states I've been in lately. Saw Ant in there and so spoke to him for most of the night. Some scary black guy came up behind me at one point and started groping me and asking why I was on my own. I was like, I'm not, I'm with these guys, and then he was all like oh come dance with me (still totally groping me and wouldnt let me go). I told him to leave me alone cos I was with Ant, and Ant even put his arm round me to pull me away, and the guy fucking pulled me back again ! He eventually walked off but it was scary as fuck.
Went out with Ant while he got nasty green chips from the van outside, then went back in.
Ant was wasted and started kissing all these guys, and stealing cigs and stuff...funny. Then I started talking to some people, 2 guys and a girl called Kerri who was very nice, so I got me another new friend =) I've made quite alot lately so I'm starting to feel happier.
Left, and Ant, Kerri and the guys went for food then me and Ant went back to mine, listened to CDs and he also chucked all the mouldy food out of the fridge (eggs, milk, sausages) out of the window and on some poor persons car outside :S
Then he passed out on the bed, fully dressed so I had like a teeny bit on the end to balance on all night !

Today we had a Family Guy marathon, went to McDonalds and walked into town so he could get his bus.

...I actually like him quite alot now =S oops..but I still dont think he really likes me. Meh, I just dunno. Have to wait and see I guess but I'm not counting on anything at all. He mentioned his ex quite a few times, and thats never ever a good thing. I'll maybe see him in Satans Tuesday, then come home Wednesday. He's so cute though =\

Jimmy Eat World tonight. Should be ace =D Thats if I get any energy sometime soon.

I swear the pill has made my periods 5x worse. It hurts like hell and its supposed to make them better ! Meh...roll on picking up my pill perscription tomorrow so it'll go away !!

(2 more lies | tell me you love me)

03:42pm 18/03/2005
mood: relieved
Been out quite a bit. Went to Satans on Friday and met a few people from the Mancpunkscene board which was cool, and actually said hi to Mackie this time. After about that point I remember fuck all cos I was completely wasted. Apparently Pjay was there and I kept kissing his face but I dont even remember that ! The last thing I remember is meeting Papa J, and then leaving with Ant...he went for food, and we came back to mine. He played some music, then I think I must have passed out or something cos I dont remember that either, haha.

Woke up the enxt day rough as fuck and went to Caths..came back on Sunday - well, my dads car decided to break down on the motorway on top of the fucking pennines..I seriously thought I was going to freeze to death, it was awful.
Came back, had a long hot shower and then went to Tiger Lounge with Sian. Met more MPS people.

Went to Satans again on Tuesday, met more random people. Was very drunk again, but I actually remember things so I wasnt as bad as Friday.

Just finished a nasty fucking essay on ITV and its impact on broadcasting...handed that in with my graphics, so now I'm sat here listening to cheesey music..bit gutted that I couldnt go out last night with all my flatmates for St Patricks Day but I had loads of work to do =(

Going to Satans again tonight, hopefully. Then Jimmy Eat World on Sunday and I'll be home some time next week. I think theres only me that doesnt really want to go home...hmmm..

But I will be home cos I have to meet up with Caz and Lianne and Doc and Dave and everyone =D Havent seen Caz and Dave and people since I came to uni so it'll be ace =D

I really cant be arsed writing this after that bastard essay, so I'm off !

(1 more lie | tell me you love me)

04:18pm 15/03/2005
mood: bored
Doctors are still shit.
I have a spazzy foot so I have to keep my foot up on something and put a packet of frozen peas on it so the fluid can drain or some shit.
I've been given tablets that I've already had once, that didnt work.
I give up, I'm just gonna go at home next week. Dont know when I'm going to be back yet. I doubt this weekend cos I have Jimmy Eat World on Sunday so I'll see people out the week after...
Listen to the new Garbage song if you havent already. Its fucking ace.

Last three:

things you bought

...songs you heard
Garbage - Why Do You Love Me
Brand New - Jude Law and a Semester Abroad
The Bravery - Honest Mistake

...websites visited

...texts received
Dunno cos I deleted half of them..the ones on there are:
'Did I walk straight past you?? I'm really sorry. I would've said hi if id seen you. Hell, I would've bummed ya! Sacred bum... Cx'
'Yeah definately!i will get u a ticket ill ask jase if he wants 2 go 2 do we need to book 2day?heard about your traumatic journey home!nightmare!poor u n dad!xx'
'hey its me ant. this isnt my phone but my number is ***********. get it added! i felt well ill this morning.

...people you spoke to
Uni lecturer

...people you kissed

...movies you watched
The Butterfly Effect
Bit of Clockwork Orange last night

...countries you visited
Wherever Fuerteventura is
Feck, I cant remember...USA

...things you spent more than £100 on
Deposit for house
Beer probably
DVDS " " =D

...times you cried
Last week
Mothers Day
Watching TV/film probably

(1 more lie | tell me you love me)

04:13pm 06/03/2005
mood: crappy
I really do hate Sundays. Grrr.

Went out on Tuesday which was fun. Chris actually came out =p ha...though Pjay and Gemma and people didnt end up coming. Booo, ahwell. Jem left at some point cos she was ill, and we left not long after since some prick kept feeling me up on the dance floor.

Didnt do much else the rest of the week. Thursday I was supposed to go to Straylight Run/Spill Canvas but I'm fooking ill with dodgy flu type stuffs again so didnt go =( I really wanted to see Spill Canvas too, meh.
Also randomly saw Tracey and Drinky in Fopp after I'd gone into town to buy food ! Pretty wierd since I've not seen them in...3+ years ? But like I said, they never look any fecking different ! Was really nice to see them though.

Yesterday, I went shopping and then met Cath and Sara and friends at the Printworks with Hol. Me and Hol paid £12 for a pitcher ?! WTF...had a good night though =) Needed it !

Sat in bed now, hungover and feeling shitty. Should be writing essays but I have no books, so havta sort that out tomorrow and hopefully start the bastard thing before I go to The Donnas with Jem.

My feeling shittiness still hasnt subsided yet, its really getting me down. Nothing seems real to me anymore and I feel like nothing is the way it should be. Not that I know how anything should be, but its gotta be better than this. Hmm, whatever.

I'm going on holiday anyway so thats something to look forward to. 2nd April so its less than a month away =D Going to Puerto Rico for a week with Cath and Dad. Cant fooking wait.

Meh, I havta get out of bed and go pee. Fun times eh?

(tell me you love me)